Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sunday of Rest

The weather here in DC has been lousy and Tony is just finishing midterms. So, we made a decision to stay home today and worship here. We listened to a sermon on line after sleeping until 2pm. Yes, I said 2pm. It was fabulous. I actually feel rested and ready to take on the week. My rested feeling isn't just physical, it is also emotional. Finally, I feel like I am moving away from the grief and anger that has encompassed me this week. Or, maybe it has been surrounding me for a while now, building with each recent loss. At any rate, I feel peaceful, rested.

I have a feeling Tony is going to drag me off to bed soon, but I wanted to pose this thought: what do you need to do to heal? What do you need to do to find peace and rest? Do what you need to do.

Oh, and I promise that I will finish filling you in this week on what has gone on over the last few months.

Roll On.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Maybe I Should've Stayed Off the Computer

Last week, I signed off after writing half a blog to watch The Amazing Race. It's one of my favorite shows and I try not to miss it. During a commercial break, Tony asked me to sign on to look up something. I did and couldn't resist checking my Face Book page in the process (I'm totally addicted!). What I found has kept me spinning ever the point that I didn't even finish catching you up on what's been going on for the last three months.

A dear friend was killed on October 9th in a cycling accident in Mississippi on the Natchez Trace. He, another friend and I were known as the Triumvent (can't spell!), a fancy name for three musketeers. I am the only one left of the three of us. The other guy, Devereaux, died during Christmas week of 2007. Calling Dev's wife, Nora, to tell her about David's death was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't like to be the bearer of bad news and this was especially hard given how close our friendships had been. She and I bawled like babies on the phone together. I know it must have felt like loosing her husband all over again on some level. Some of my best memories of the 90s are sitting at Nora's kitchen table doing political strategy work with David and Deveraux.

Robert Fulghum has written that dress parades such as weddings, funerals, christenings, etc., bring out all the worst behaviors in us all, especially among family members. David's death has been no exception. David went through a very acrimonious divorce several years ago, right about the time I was falling in love with and marrying my husband, Tony. David was engaged to be remarried early next year to the love of his life, Cindy, who is crushed. I'm crushed for her. David was happier than I've ever seen him when he with her. At any rate, the ex-wife has managed to make all of this all about her. She's playing the grieving widow. Talk about lack of respect and an unwillingness to put the past in the past.

David's son called me to tell me about the funeral arrangements and we laughed and cried together about his Dad the good times we'd all shared. Less than 2 hours later, I received an email from the ex-wife (she found me through's a double edged sword, sigh) informing me that I was unwelcome at "her husband's" funeral because she didn't want me there.

I wrote back and quietly let her know that we had no intention of attending because of work and school schedules. I also expressed my sympathy for her children and David's fiancee. I finished the email by also expressing my shock that she had inserted herself into a series of events that really had nothing to do with her beyond her role as the mother of grieving adult children. I summarily received a phone call from the same son with whom I'd laughed and cried just the day before. He basically threatened me with bodily harm if I came within 100 feet of Cindy, him, his siblings, or mother ever again. I could hear his mother coaching him in the background. Tony didn't take well to this, so they would also be well served to leave me alone as well.

I'm not sure who I feel worse for: his parents because they've lost their only child, his fiancee because she's caught up in all this, or the kids because they've lost their dad and are trying to balance grieving with dealing with their narcissistic mother.

We live in a fallen, broken world and things happen.

I'll miss my friend. I'll miss his laughter and infectious zest for life. It's one more reason to be excited about Heaven.

I promise to fill you in on the rest of the last three months later. That's just what's gone on this week. Drama and tears and such. I'm done with it.

Sleep well, sweet prince.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Coming up for air

My Goodness! It's been a while.

Right after my last post in July, I was hired by Freedomworks, the national sponsor of the 912 March (check out My job was to manage the 400 people who signed up to volunteer for the March as marshals, runners, gophers, medics, etc. To say the least, I've been a little busy. :) My last day there was towards the end of September and I have been either sleeping, doing housework, writing thank you notes, interviewing or just plain staring off into space. Oh, and let's not forget TETRIS.

At any rate, it has been quite the ride over the last three months. I probably should have sold tickets and would have if I had known at the outset how things were going to be. I wouldn't have traded one single second of it. Not one. Not for anything.

It all started quite innocently, as most things of consequence do. I heard about the March, that it was going to be in DC and that they needed help. So, I went a step beyond filling out the on line information. I called the Freedomworks office and spoke to Nan. She asked me to come in and meet with her and a guy named Brendan. So, a few days later, I did. I told them that since I was in the area I wanted to be involved in any way I could be useful. When they found out that I had experience with managing volunteers and logistics, I saw a look pass between the two of them and a "Eureka" sense sort of flashed through the air. That was a Thursday. I moved into my office that same afternoon, took the next day (Friday) to get things in place here at the house, and then on Monday, Lucy and I hit the ground running.

The first decision: what to call me. I was too old, technically, to be an intern so they settled on the title of Fellow. I liked it. Tony told me not to call myself a "good fellow" for obvious reasons. Sheltered little me had to have it explained to her. Sigh. If you're as clueless as I was, check out the Godfather movies. Things should be pretty clear after that.

I went around chirping, "I'm gonna be a FELLA!" I'm sure the whole office wondered exactly who had taken up residence in the office down the hall. My little dog and I fit in quickly and pretty seamlessly with the rest of the team. In spite of my wackiness, they couldn't have been more welcoming.

Then came the baptism by cyber fire. For the first few days, we just couldn't seem to get my internet access going so I could communicate with the rest of the office. It's apparently a rite of passage for all newcomers at FW.

All finally synced and the work piled on. Not only was I fielding volunteers, I was helping people find out how to arrange transportation from their area and such things. I met some of the coolest people.

You know what? It's time for The Amazing Race. The rest of the story will just have to wait until later.

Roll on.